BEWARE – BECAUSE IT EXISTS

Posted: September 9, 2010 in Uncategorized

Bunyip photograph supplied by Billy Davies, shown after the netherstorm of Darwin 2010.

Netherstorm of Darwin September 8th 2010

Scientists try to explain the netherstorm phenomenon.

“i rkn the aboriginals and these dreamtime creatures like the yara-ma-yah-who and bunyip have been ported here from a master space race that has colonized millions of planets, obviously here’s the proof” – some mad scientist.

Dangers of Darwin

Posted: August 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

Infested swamp waters of the dreaded Adelaide River. Home of the jumping crocodile.

Satellite imagery of the current swampland situation

Graphic depicting the remaining green safe zones left in Darwin.

WAR!

Posted: August 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

Swamp Alliance

These creatures live in the blackest lagoons, usually found in Darwin, Australia. They are reclusive so long as their territory isn’t invaded. If anyone enters their hunting ground, they’re fair game. Swamp monsters prefer to steal up underwater and attack from below whenever possible…..

Attributes: Agility 8, Smarts 8 (A), Spirit 10, Strength 12+1, Vigor 10
Skills: Fighting 10, Guts 10, Notice 8, Stealth 10, Swimming 12
Pace: 4; Parry: 7; Toughness: 9
Edges: Combat Reflexes, Frenzy
Special Abilities:

  • Amphibious: The swamp monster can breathe both air and water equally well, and swims at Pace 12.
  • Armor +2: Thick scales.
  • Bite/Claws: Str+1.
  • Slow: Out of the water, the swamp monster moves at Pace 4 and rolls a d4 for running.

Weaknesses:

  • BRICK
  • SHOVEL
  • PODDIBLE

Human Alliance

One man has been sent from God to fight the evil that dwells in the Darwin swamps… his name is… Billy Davies! Usually armed with brick and shovel, the Poddible can often be seen throwing bricks from his swamp land, defending mankind from the foul vermin of the Darwin Swamps.


Figure 1 Billy Strikes

Attributes: Agility 5, Smarts -4 (A), Spirit 6, Strength 4, Vigor 3
Skills: Fighting 5, Guts 4, Notice 3, Stealth 0, Swimming 3, Brick Throwing 15, Shovel Strike 15
Pace: 4; Parry: 5; Toughness: 3
Edges: Shovel Specialist
Special Abilities:

  • Shovel/Brick: Billy Davies specialises in shovel and brick strikes
  • Armor +2: With Brick and Shovel equipped, Billy Davies obtains a thick layer of cement armor
  • Accuracy: On rooftop  Billy Davies can strike swamp monsters from up to 50ms away.
  • Smell: Often mistakes himself for a swamp monster due to uncontrollable bowel syndromes.
  • THE PODDIBLE TRANSFORMATION

Weaknesses:

  • Starcraft 2
  • DOD
  • TF2
  • Women
  • Swamp monsters (even the swamp monster women)

What is the PODDIBLE Transformation?

For reasons unknown, whenever Billy Davies is outnumbered or struggling to maintain his scum life, he unleashes… the PODDIBLE.


Figure 2 – The PODDIBLE

The above figure does not show, however in his left hand is brick and right shovel – two key attributes to the Poddible. He is often seen posing like so after a victory over the Swamp Monsters of Darwin.

Attributes: Agility 20, Smarts 20 (A), Spirit 20, Strength 10 (only one strong arm), Vigor 10
Skills: Fighting 20, Guts 15, Notice 15, Stealth 20, Swimming 20, Brick Throwing 50, Shovel Strike 50
Pace: 20; Parry: 25; Toughness: 60
Edges: Combat Reflexes, Frenzy, Shovel/Brick Specialisation, Night Vision
Special Abilities:

  • Shovel/Brick: Poddible specialises in shovel and brick strikes. As the Poddible, instant kills are a result of one hit or swing.
  • Armor +20: With Brick and Shovel equipped, the Poddible has a thick layer of cement armor
  • Accuracy: On rooftop the Poddible can strike swamp monsters from up to 2km’s away.
  • Smell: Can often smell swamp monsters from a far distance

Weaknesses:

  • Starcraft 2
  • DOD
  • TF2
  • Women
  • Swamp monsters (even the swamp monster women)